Relationship Addiction

Here are some common traits & characteristics of relationally dependent people that you can use to gauge your own situation. Because the dynamics of attachment styles are complex, these traits should not be considered as a complete list. Consider each one carefully and decide if this speaks to your situation of someone you care for.

• You become sexually involved with and/or emotionally attached to a person without taking the time to get to know them.

• You fear abandonment & loneliness, causing you stay in and return to painful, destructive and abusive relationships.

• You involve yourself in more than one relationship at a time, both emotionally & sexually.

• You confuse love with obsession, using controlling behaviors directed towards your partner(s) with the hope of keeping them from leaving you.

• You feel empty inside, even while in a relationship, causing you to search for new love interests.

• You spend money you don’t have on a romantic interest, causing you to go into debt.

• You use sex & emotional involvement to manipulate and control others.

• You become preoccupied with a romantic interest and are unable to concentrate.

• You attach yourself to emotionally unavailable people and abusive partners.

• You compulsively search for new relationships – even if you are currently in one.

• You obsess over, monitor and perhaps stalk the object of your affection.

• You assign unrealistic qualities to those you are attracted to, believing they can bring you happiness and save you from your loneliness.
  

If you found yourself nodding your head “Yes” while reading these traits & characteristics and feel that they speak to your situation, it may be time to dig a bit deeper, as you may be codependent or relationally addicted. Confusing Love with Obsession, published by Hazelden, is one of the first books to explore this topic in detail with information for both women and men. 

• Co-dependency
• Approval addiction
• Compulsive Lying
• Rageaholism
• Perfectionism