by Sally Perkins for FREEdom from MEdom Project
In 2017, a total of 2,813,503 resident deaths recorded around the US as stated by the National Center for Health Statistics. This number infers that an average of over 7,000 individuals dies each day. While these may be irrefutable facts that we live with, this does not mean that the grief that comes along with those makes it any easier to bear. Losing a loved one brings along a pain so acute that leads many people to struggle with grief constantly. So, when the pain is real, what can be done when it’s time celebrate the birthday of a loved one that has passed on?
Let Your Faith Guide You
A loss is often felt more keenly when there is a special occasion or two that’s nearing. In such times, find your way back to your faith and let that guide you. Pick up the Bible and read passages like Romans 14:8 to remind you that even when you and your loved one get separated, you are both ultimately under the care of Our Lord. At the end of days, there is a reunion planned in the house of Our Father and let that belief carry you as you wrestle with your feelings of loss.
Take Your Time
Grief doesn’t exactly come with an expiration date and it is something that’s carried for the rest of one’s natural life. This does not mean to say that you should force your feelings at all. There is a big difference between grieving and actually mourning. The grieving process is internal and the other is external. It may take a lot of time to get from A to B, and that’s okay.
Share the Moment With Others
When you find that you are able to celebrate the life that is no longer there, it is best to do so with others. Ideally, you should reach out to other loved ones and family members that carry the same memories of the one that passed. Just because they received the call to join Our Lord does not mean that all of the fingerprints of that life are gone. Honoring a life well-lived is one of the best ways to celebrate the memory of that person.
Consult With Someone You Trust
Ultimately, when your loss is still sharp, you should find comfort in the wisdom of someone you trust, like your spiritual leader or a good friend. A willing listener can significantly ease the distress one feels, as found by a study by Harvard Medical School. Talking about the loss and audibly processing the feelings you have can help you relieve stress and ease your pain.
Grieving is an extremely personal experience but this does not mean that you need to do it by yourself. The beautiful thing about having brothers and sisters in Christ is that you are never truly alone. The pang of loss may still twinge at your heart but you should not let that stop you from celebrating the memory of a life that God had blessed your life with, for however short a time.
This article by Sally Perkins is timely for me considering my uncle recently passed from this life into glory. He will be missed. I imagine he still thinks of his wife, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren wishing he could tell each of them (and all of us) what paradise looks like, sounds like, smells like, and feels like. And oh the love he must be experiencing at this very moment. We can only imagine. —SG
