by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project
If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:5-9 (NLT)
In a seminar I attended the question was asked, “When are you most happy?” We were asked to pair up with someone and ask each other that question. I responded to the question by saying, “When my conscience is clear.”
My struggle each and every day is to live my life of recovery with integrity. I cheat way too often… you know… bend the “rules” when I am not outright breaking them. After all, in this new age of grace, when Christ has come to fulfill the law through the new covenant, He is sure to forgive me when I confess my sin, right? He cleanses me from what? From my wickedness, right? I’ve been justified of my wrongdoing through grace in relationship with Christ, right?
Even the Apostle Paul asked the question in his letter to the Romans, “Does this grace—this mercy—give me license to sin?” He went on to write about the struggle of sinning, even when he knows he is sinning; doing what he did not want to do and not doing what he wanted to do since he was enjoying fellowship with Jesus.
I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations. Psalm 119:30 (NLT)
I had mentioned to my wife this morning that it has been almost a month since I’ve posted anything in FREEdom from MEdom. I said I hadn’t felt particularly inspired to write. So I opened the Bible Gateway site on my laptop and read the Scripture of the day that you just read from Psalm 119. From there I opened the rest of Psalm 119 and the inspiration came… or maybe I should more honestly admit that I was moved by conviction and I am simply reflecting on that as I share it with you.
First of all, let’s bring some clarity about what I am writing about by defining the words ‘joy’ and ‘integrity’; two words not easily defined or described by experience.
Joy—
1 a : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : delight ; b : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : festive
2 : a state of happiness or felicity (quality of happiness) : bliss
3 : a source or cause of delight
Integrity—
1 : firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values : incorruptibility
2 : an unimpaired condition : soundness
3 : the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness
It is often said that integrity is doing the best and right thing when no one is looking. One also might say that integrity is realized when the higher moral standard is what shapes a person’s values and not the other way around when sadly morality is determined by self-centered values.
How often have I made choices in opposition to being faithful? How often do I determine to go my own way bending and breaking what I know to be healthy and productive spiritually? God has called me to integrity while I often settle for compromise—my weakened response to His grace.
1 Joyful are people of integrity, who follow the instructions of the Lord.
2 Joyful are those who obey his laws and search for him with all their hearts.
3 They do not compromise with evil, and they walk only in his paths.
4 You have charged us to keep your commandments carefully.
5 Oh, that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees!
6 Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands.
7 As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should!
8 I will obey your decrees. Please don’t give up on me!
9 How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.
10 I have tried hard to find you—don’t let me wander from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
12 I praise you, O Lord; teach me your decrees.
13 I have recited aloud all the regulations you have given us.
14 I have rejoiced in your laws as much as in riches.
15 I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways.
16 I will delight in your decrees and not forget your word.
17 Be good to your servant, that I may live and obey your word.
18 Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in your instructions.
19 I am only a foreigner in the land. Don’t hide your commands from me!
20 I am always overwhelmed with a desire for your regulations. Psalm 119:1-20 (NLT)
What a way to start this psalm: “Joyful are people of integrity… joyful are people who are obedient…” This is not only a scriptural precept, it was likely the experience of the psalmist. The writer reports that faithful and consistent obedience without compromise tends to lead to freedom, peace and joy. The key to the pursuit of blessing is the pursuit of the provider of the blessing through an active relationship with the giver through active participation in giving of oneself. Giving of oneself is with a servant’s heart through acts of service.
The psalmist came to realize by experience that as one invests in serving God as an expression of worship to Him the benefits are rich and prosperous—beginning with internal prosperity. Internal prosperity for me is found in the experienced peace and joy that is the manifestation of God’s favor in my life. Internal prosperity means that my conscience is clear. It means that when I have opportunity to do good and right, that is what I do; not as some forced compulsory act but because my walk reflects that I treasure the Word of God and it is entrenched deep down; hidden within the depths of my heart. I am so invested that I am overwhelmed with desire for the things of God since His favor is my source of pleasure, peace, and joy. It is in the favor of God in relationship with Jesus that I experience new life into real freedom.
25 I lie in the dust; revive me by your word.
26 I told you my plans, and you answered. Now teach me your decrees.
27 Help me understand the meaning of your commandments, and I will meditate on your wonderful deeds.
28 I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word.
29 Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.
30 I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by your regulations.
31 I cling to your laws. Lord, don’t let me be put to shame!
32 I will pursue your commands, for you expand my understanding.
33 Teach me your decrees, O Lord; I will keep them to the end.
34 Give me understanding and I will obey your instructions; I will put them into practice with all my heart.
35 Make me walk along the path of your commands, for that is where my happiness is found.
36 Give me an eagerness for your laws rather than a love for money!
37 Turn my eyes from worthless things, and give me life through your word.
38 Reassure me of your promise, made to those who fear you.
39 Help me abandon my shameful ways; for your regulations are good.
40 I long to obey your commandments! Renew my life with your goodness. Psalm 119:25-40 (NLT)
The psalmist in verse 25 declares that I came from dust and on my own still lie in it, but you are God and it is by your word and direction that I can truly live. “Revive me by your word.” The psalmist recognized and understood that even though he had plans with intentions to carry them out, God responded to those plans by feeding into his spirit His plans for him. “Put in me a desire to live out your plan and purpose for my life according to what you want and have for me.” As God fuels my intentions, I find it easy to surrender to His plan; my desires then are much more in line with His desires.
The psalmist also acknowledges selfishness and dissatisfaction to the extent of becoming deeply discouraged and distressed to the point of tears. So the writer cried out to the Lord, “Help me to quit lying to myself about what I believe I deserve when I pursue my own entitled interests—cravings, urges, obsessions, and compulsions to remedy dissatisfaction. Purge from me my love for what money buys and help me to want, seek, and find contentment in the privilege of walking in your favor, according to the best of what You want and have for me. Revive my life from the dust into the renewal of new life into the best that is the goodness of God.”
57 Lord, you are mine! I promise to obey your words!
58 With all my heart I want your blessings. Be merciful as you promised.
59 I pondered the direction of my life, and I turned to follow your laws.
60 I will hurry, without delay, to obey your commands.
61 Evil people try to drag me into sin, but I am firmly anchored to your instructions. Psalm 119:57-61 (NLT)
In recovery there is tremendous emphasis anchored to sobriety no matter who or what sets out to sabotage it. The psalmist in this passage is delivering a message of sticking to the plan of recovery from misguided living through a commitment to a surrendered life into the will and plan of God through surrendered obedience to what works. Do you see this? This message is not merely about rules and regulations and instructions motivated by a supreme authority that merely wants to boss its subjects around because He can. This instruction from Psalm 119 is not for the benefit or even the glory of this supreme dictator called God. This is a message of love imparting knowledge and wisdom from the Creator to His creation who He loves so much that He sacrificed His very own son.
I love this passage! Here are verses 57-61 in my own words: “Lord, You are mine! I want your blessings because I want You! I’ll admit I thought about it. Pondered a life without You. There are folks out there with evil intentions trying to distract and dissuade me. Are you kidding? I have seen how they’ve turned out; how unhappy they are. I also see the life I can experience in your best your way and that’s the life I want. No more messin’ around. I will hurry to follow you and be obedient to the way of life you have called me to.”
You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands. Psalm 119:73 (NLT)
The more I surrender into the higher calling of an obedient life with the heart and soul of a servant, imitating the model of the life Jesus lived, the more I reflect the integrity of what it means to be a child of God, living to be like Him. What God does is transform me into what He has called me to by renewing my way of thinking, embedding in me His desires. Then, as I delight in the desires God has birthed in me, I experience the desire of my heart in the unspeakable joy of the Lord coursing through my veins.
It’s not about living out the law of God, which is in and of itself, insufficient since I cannot adhere to it (Romans 8). Against the standard God’s commandments of which I would fall short, I would die into condemnation. It is about living in relationship with Christ into the best of a transformed new life experience. It is in the promise of relationship with God, the supreme creator, through relationship with His Son, that I experience real joy.
It just makes so much sense to me.
