by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from Medom Project
When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. The Apostle Paul, James 2:1
Please respond to the following questions:
- How do you manage anxiety and stress? What do you do, specifically?
- How do you manage disappointment and pain? Again, what do you do, specifically?
- What have you done to confront problems in your life? What do you tend to do?
- Provide an example of how you have given into negativity while ignoring positives in circumstances and relationships and how that affected you.
- Provide an example of how you have predicted scenarios—imagined the worst—about how something will turn out prior to addressing the situation and how that affected you.
- Provide an example of how you have drawn wrong conclusions about a particular situation and how that affected you.
The truth is that so much of what you imagine to be true, from wounded memories of past experiences, isn’t necessarily realized in your present circumstance, yet you can experience tumultuous stress worrying about it. Also true, is that you have confronted problems ill equipped to solve them, and the worst that you imagined concluded to be spot on or even worse than what you had imagined. As it happens that you fail miserably in your attempts to solve problems, the likelihood increases that the fear of failure and rejection results in shying away from problem-solving and the problem gets worse while you stew over it and resist trying to solve it. Problem solving can be extremely daunting and difficult so you need a plan of action to attempt to solve problems.
Prayer is the first step in effective conflict resolution and productive problem solving. Having discovered and learned tools for empowered recovery, it is time to develop an applicable recovery action plan to arrive at real solutions to real-life problems.
Develop an Action Plan
1-Identify a current problem or conflict
- Describe a problem that is present in your life that results in your unhappiness
- How has the problem led to feelings of unhappiness?
- What does the unhappiness feel like?
2-Recall events and circumstances in play when the problem/conflict started
- When did the problem begin?
- What relationships are involved with this problem?
- What were the events and circumstances leading up to the problem?
- What are the current circumstances as the result of the problem?
3-Examine how you are affected by the problem/conflict
- How are you affected physically and psychologically by the problem?
- How are the circumstances of your life affected by the problem?
4-Examine who else is affected by the problem/conflict
- What relationships are most affected by the problem?
- How would you say those relationships are affected physically and psychologically by the problem as far as you can tell? (Be specific)
- What other relationships are affected by the problem?
- How are those relationships affected by the problem?
5-Examine the first thing you did to try and solve the problem/conflict
- What were you thinking you needed to do to solve the problem?
- What did you think you needed to do to feel better while in the problem?
- What did you attempt to do to solve the problem?
- What did you do to feel better while in the problem?
- Did you solve the problem?
- Did the circumstances around and because of the problem get better, become worse, or stay the same? Explain.
6-Examine other things you did to try and solve the problem/conflict
- What else were you thinking you needed to do to solve the problem?
- What else did you think you needed to do to feel better while in the problem?
- What else did you attempt to do to solve the problem?
- What else did you do to feel better while in the problem?
- Did you solve the problem?
- Did the circumstances around and because of the problem get better, become worse, or stay the same? Explain.
7-Look back to other times when you had a similar problem/conflict
- When in your life did you experience a similar problem?
- How was the problem similar?
- What relationships were involved while experiencing the similar problem?
- What were the events and circumstances regarding the problem at that time?
8-Examine what you recall doing to attempt to solve the problem/conflict
- What did you do to attempt to solve the similar problem?
- How was what you did to attempt to solve that problem similar to what you have done so far to attempt to solve this current problem?
- How was what you did to attempt to solve that problem different from what you have done so far to attempt to solve this current problem?
9-Examine how you and others were affected by that previous similar problem
- How were you affected physically and psychologically by that similar problem?
- How were you affected by what you did to attempt to solve that problem?
- How would you say those relationships were affected physically and psychologically by the problem as far as you can tell? (Again, be specific)
10-Confidence that you can solve your current problem without a working plan
- On a scale of 0-100 (100 being most), what is your confidence level that you can solve your current problem on your own your way without an effectively working action plan?
11-Develop an action plan with a minimum of three very specific steps
- Using as many steps as it will take, begin outlining action steps that you believe are necessary to solve your current problem. Be thinking about how you will work the Admit, Believe, Commit strategy into your action steps.
- Be specific! “I will to pray more”, or “I will communicate more effectively with my spouse”, or “I will drink less/quit drinking”, or “I will quit smoking”, or “I will show more respect to my spouse”, or “I will stop this or that” are not sufficient on their own.
- Be specific of what you will do, how you will do it, and when you will do it for each step: Instead of “I will pray everyday”, the action step might be: “I will spend at least 10 minutes each morning praying while I am driving to work and be sure to pray for help with my problem.” Instead of “I will quit using (fill in the blank)”, the action step should include daily prayer and attendance at some kind of an accountability support group. Instead of “I will communicate more effectively with my spouse” the action step should involve scheduling times to talk, putting the book or magazine down and turning off the television, along with the implementation of LUV techniques.
12-Prognosis for resolution of the problem/conflict without your action plan
- What is the best case scenario for continuing the course you were on solving your problem in your way without the steps in your action plan?
- What is the worst case scenario?
- Of the two potential outcomes, which is the most likely scenario?
13-Prognosis for successful resolution of the problem/conflict with your action plan
- What is the best case scenario for continuing the course you were on solving your problem in your way without the steps in your action plan?
- What is the worst case scenario?
- Of the two potential outcomes, which is the most likely scenario?
14-Consider the outcome when your problem having implemented your new plan
- How will working your action steps impact your physical and psychological health?
- How will working your action steps improve your spiritual health?
- How will the affected relationships in your life be better?
- How will your circumstances be better?
- How can you apply the fundamental elements of your action plan to other problems and circumstances?
- How can you apply the ABC strategy from your action plan into an overall approach to daily recovery?
- How would you describe the opportunity for a better future living out your action plan for recovery God’s way?
15-Confidence level that you will solve your problem working your action plan
- On a scale of 0-100 (100 being most), what is your confidence level that you can solve your current problem on God’s way through your action plan empowered by the One able, willing, and wanting to help you?
- Since fear and doubt are your human nature, take the time now to pray for an increase in faith so that you can grow in confidence.
- Regardless of your confidence level, begin to implement your action plan immediately.
Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (NLT)
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. James 1:2-5a (NLT)
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20 (NLT)
You have worked hard developing your action plan to solve your problem. Now be encouraged to address another problem, following each of the 15 steps to develop an action plan for solving it. Each time you find yourself stuck in a problem in the future, develop an action plan to solve it utilizing the ABC strategy for your recovery in every area of your life and see what God will do.
