by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project
Years ago, I worked with a man named Stacy. Stacy is an African-American gentleman who sang in the choir at a baptist church in the inner city of Chicago. He informed me one day at work that the choir he sang in would be on public television singing behind recording artist, Patti LaBelle. I watched the performance the night it was on and was blown away. I love that black gospel music. I am a huge music fan and, when all is said and done, black gospel music is right at the top of what I most enjoy.
The next day at work I told Stacy how much I enjoyed the performance. Then I asked if I could visit his church so I could take in that experience live and in person. Occasionally on Saturday nights, the choir would have a special night when they would perform for about 90 minutes or more. So I drove almost an hour from my suburban home into Chicago for the next performance. I was expecting to arrive at one of the city’s finer church buildings and I would be able to take my seat in the back of the sanctuary and enjoy the night’s performance. After all, this church boasted that fine choir that backed up Patti Labelle.
I arrived to this small aging building just a few minutes before showtime. The parking lot wasn’t that full on this beautiful summer evening and the thought went through my mind that perhaps I was at the right place but on the wrong night. I went inside and stood in the back. I was stunned. The parking lot wasn’t very full, but the place was packed. You see, this small baptist church that probably doesn’t seat more than 120 people or so is located in the middle of the neighborhood and I suppose most of those inside walked to church. There could have been 200 packed in there shoulder to shoulder.
I stood in the back and looked inside as the concert got started. This will not sound good or politically correct, but I felt a bit awkward and uncomfortable since I was the only caucasion guy in the building. All eyes would be on me if I went in, right? African-American families attend predominately Caucasian churches in the metropolitan suburbs of Chicago all the time and seem to assimilate just fine, even when they are the only black people in a church of all white folks. We don’t think anything of it, and they and their children seem totally comfortable. So why would I feel uncomfortable? But I did a little.
I was standing in a doorway in the back and no one really noticed me. The performance had begun and everyone was into it. Everybody was on their feet. It was a worship experience, for sure. Except for the first song, which went on for about ten minutes, my experience was peripheral. It was attractive to me and enjoyable but I knew I needed to go all the way in to fully benefit from this powerful experience.
I began walking into the sanctuary looking for a seat as the next song began. I found a seat all the way up in the third row. “Excuse me, pardon me” I would say as I stumbled my way to my seat in the middle of the row. Now I really did feel like everyone was looking at me. As I walked by, each person in the row to my seat reached up and affectionately put their hand on the back of my shoulder to help me pass through. It felt good and did a lot for me to feel welcome there.
The following performances by Chicago Mass Choir are not the services I attended but are provided here as an example of my worship experience at the services I did attend.
After that fifteen minute song and before the next one, the choir paused and the director led a greeting time where every body welcomed one another. At my church in the suburbs, we shake hands with one another, occasionally exchange hugs, greet guests with a handshake and a smile, and then it’s on with the service. At this church in inner city Chicago, I received hugs from probably two dozen men and women in nearly ten minutes before the concert resumed. I loved it. They would ask where I came from and then assured me that I would have a great time in their church community.
The performance lasted a couple of hours and all of us in the congregation were not the least bit an audience of spectators. Everyone participated and it is one giant choir led by the actual choir. Everyone standing around me may as well have been in the choir because I was surrounded by wonderful singing voices. What a night! What a great night! I flew home on a cloud. It was an incredible fulfilling experience.
I would attend a few more of these services and some Sunday morning services as well. The pastor was an awesome preacher and would sing with the choir intermittently throughout his sermon. Again, the congregation actively participated throughout the service, breaking into spontaneous song with the pastor or music minister. Everything seemed to happen under the authority and inspiration of the Spirit of the Living God.
The reality of my experience was that until I walked in and was immersed into the spirit of what was going on I would have only a peripheral experience; I would get a glimpse into the greatness of something crazy good, but I would miss out on the experience of something amazing. It is like that in our recovery whether or not we are actively participating in a relationship with God.
I needed to step out of the boat of my comfort zone and step into the light of what God wanted and had for me at that concert. From the periphery I could have witnessed what God had in store for everybody else in the experience of the night, and I may never have really known all that I was missing. But having stepped into the light of that amazing intense spiritual experience, I was exceedingly blessed well beyond my expectations.
Jesus Christ is the light of your life—the light of all life—and as you step outside of the boat of your circumstances, no matter how burdened you might feel, He can and will bless you exceedingly, well beyond your expectations from the bounty of all that is His. If you find yourself standing in the back, attracted to what you see going on (whether it be something in the Bible, something at a church service, something at a recovery meeting, or something you see in someone else living in the light), take courage and take the next step into the light. Don’t be content any longer walking around the light when you know it’s better living in it. As good as it might feel to stand in the warm light of the sun on a cool day, imagine what it is to immerse yourself into the light of God in an experiential relationship with Christ. Tell Him that you want what He wants and has for you and then walk right into it. Go all in.
Lesson: Pilgrimage of Faith-Driven Recovery (TWIRL 030)
