by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project
I have been asked what I would ask if I was granted three wishes. My response is always that I would only need one wish. Then comes the next response, “Why only one wish?”
My wish, knowing that it would be granted is this: that self-centered thoughts and feelings—selfishness—be eradicated from every person on the planet. Everyone! All eight billion of us.
Imagine it!
No evil. No harm. Everyone taking care of each other, according to each one’s ability; seeing to it that everyone is fed, educated, and enjoying life.
I am not talking about a utopian situation where no one gets old or tired. I am not considering an existence where there is no discomfort or pain due to occurrences in nature. I am not talking about being able to talk about being able to fly or walk on water. What I am talking about is simply everyone choosing to be every bit as invested and enthusiastic about the needs of another as they are about themselves.
There will likely be sickness and death. But even mental illness would not allow for a selfish thought or act. No one would seek to serve themselves ahead of another. However, billions of people would be sensitive to the needs of anyone and everyone in need of assistance of every kind at every level of care.
There would be no pride, no greed, no jealousy or envy, no resentment, bitterness or hatred, no anger, no frustration, no threat or risk, no anxiety or stress, and certainly no fear regarding other persons. Even the human response to challenges, difficulty, and physical pain, would not be shrouded in disappointment and fear of people.
There would be no guilt or shame when mistakes are made, since after all, no one is perfect. Eradicating selfishness does not mean that there are no errors in judgment. No self-centered thought or ambition would mean that there is willing accountability every time without fear of being judged when an error occurs. Forgiveness would not be necessary since mistakes are not held against anyone. That being the case, no one requires protection from anyone when mistakes are made, so there are no secrets.
What about social issues?
There would be no oppression, poverty, starvation, or homeless anywhere on the planet. There would be no rebellion, protest, or war. There would be no injustice… anywhere. There would be no politics… none.
We talk about people being selfless. Well, if there was no selfish ambition, motivation, or intention, ‘selfless’ would not even be a thing. The word would cease to have relevance. To hear the word would not really mean anything. Self and us would be inclusive; symbiotic.
Let’s not get too carried away. There is a built-in need for self-preservation from natural elements working against us, since were are, after all, still mortal, but we do so without selfish motivation or intention. When we get dirty, we bathe. When we hunger and thirst, we eat and drink. When we get tired, we rest and sleep. When we need shelter, it is always available, whether in our own home, or because we have been invited into someone else’s home. No one would be uncomfortable with that. The difference is that we are united as people while addressing these, and all basic needs.
I understand that a great multitude of people have jobs because of the self-interest of every human being who has ever lived. There would not be need for government with one exception: organization, perhaps even legislation in regard to offering instructive direction and supportive guidance. But there would be no disagreement. We might even choose leaders from those skilled in leadership. Again, the motivation is organization to be able to function as a civilized society without complexity and confusion.
There wouldn’t be a need for currency or taxation anywhere in the world. Every person would be motivated to contribute to applying there level of intelligence, skill, and talent for the good of all persons, including themselves… ourselves.
Of course, there are the obvious questions.
Desire
What about human want and desire?
That is a significant consideration when attempting to wrap one’s mind around a worldwide civilization where no one anywhere has self-centered ambition, motivation, or intention. Is there such a thing as ambition that is not self-centered?
Is God ambitious? Look at what he has made and done, and continues to do. Does God have desire and want? It is indicated throughout the Bible, anyway, that He does. The Bible tells us that God is jealous for His creation. The Bible tells us that God has been angry and has an obvious standard for morality, fairness, and justice.
Is God’s ambition, motivation, and intention, selfish?
So, God’s intention and motivation as ambitious, probably enjoyable creating a universe and all that. It must certainly be satisfying and fulfilling to be loved by those He created that have chosen with free will to love Him (or them when referring to the triune God).
When it comes to the elimination of selfish ambition when it comes to you and me, someone of faith might say, “Then, we wouldn’t need a Savior!”
well, over course we do. Because, it is because of my Savior that my wish was granted in the first place. Who else could have done that?
It takes us back to the matter of want and desire? Is it possible to want with desire and for it not to be selfish?
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (NLT)
What sounds kind of “out there” is Jesus telling us to love God with all our being, and then, and only then, to love one another as ourselves—with the same interest, investment, energy, enthusiasm, engagement, intensity, and ambition, that we have for ourselves. How is it possible to love God with all of our being when we are selfish? How is it possible to love our others—including our families and closest friends—as ourselves, if we are too selfish to adequately love God?
When Jesus was asked, “Who’s my neighbor?” he answered with the response people least wanted to hear. Our neighbor is that person we don’t particularly care for; the one that most gets under our skin. Our neighbor is the one we tend to avoid. How do I love that person if I am the least bit selfish?
Then there are those that we simply do not pay attention to. We don’t dislike them. We do like them. But we don’t necessarily consider them friends. We call them acquaintances, defined (Oxford Dictionary) as “a person one knows slightly, but who is not a close friend.” To love others as ourselves, there are no acquaintances. We are at the very least, friends. We would be close friends that love each other enough to be sure to have fond affection for one another. We would have admiration for each other. To distance ourselves from them would not even be a thought.
There are a whole lot of folks who will admit that they love God that, when entirely honest, do not even love family and friends, much less “acquaintances”, with the same energy and passion that they have for themselves. According to what Jesus said, this is a contradiction. In our human condition, it is our nature.
Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. James 3:13-17 (NLT)
What? Demonic? How did we go from what it might actually look like to love others without being selfish, to selfishness being evil and demonic? That’s quite a leap!
To be fair, the writer was messaging a fellowship of faith-centered believers who had allowed self-centered indulgence and corruption to settle in and infect what had been a healthy family-like environment. They were not getting along. They were quarreling amongst themselves. There was resentment. People were too focused on their own discontent within the group that they lost focus of who they were as people of faith. When they did pray, it typically had to do with God changing the will and character of others rather than what needed to change from within.
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1-3 (NLT)
Did you catch that last part?
Such “Wisdom”
This faith community was so consumed with their own desires that they fought for what they wanted at the expense of others, paying little to know attention to the fact that they were a family of faith because of the relationship they had with God. Many of them stopped communicating with God, and when they did pray, they were motivated by what they wanted and not by what God wanted for them… for their own good. That’s a problem.
The problem is that inherent to any form of self-centered ambition is that it is at the expense of someone else’s well-being due to its nature of being partial to self. To be partial to something… anything… is to be impartial against something else. Being selfish clouds our assessment and judgment regarding the bigger, all-inclusive picture.
The reality of world without self-centered desire and ambition is that everything we desire is always inclusive, in the interest of the whole, and never partial to only a part of the whole. There may be pieces to the puzzle, millions and billions of them, but they always belong to the puzzle, without one ever missing.
There are bones, and muscles, and organs, and nerves, and blood vessels, and tissue, etc., in the body, but they are always operating together with the singular objective that is the living body. Every member within and throughout the body has a purpose and function regardless of its role. There are organs, such as the brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, reproductive organs, and so on, that all work in tandem with each other. Even if there are members of the body more essential than other members, they do not know it; nor do they care to consider themselves or each other more important than the other. They are all-inclusive, working together in a symbiotic relationship.
People whose bodies are infected and damaged by illness—diabetes, asthma, allergies, cancer, heart disease, organ failure, etc.—understand all too well what happens naturally if they do not respect and trust the process of caring for their bodies in order to combat their illness that has caused their life-consuming condition.
I recently had to have my gallbladder removed. Why? Because, I was too selfish in regards to the junk I put into my body. I was warned by my wife that it would happen. She is a retired nurse. Several years ago, she began warning me that I would eventually lose my gallbladder. I believed her all along to be telling me the truth. Why didn’t I pay heed and clean up my diet? Because it hadn’t hurt me yet. It was hurting me but I did not feel any pain, so I did not care. I could not see with my eyes the condition my gallbladder was in.
By the time I felt pain for the first time, specific to my gallbladder, I knew exactly what the problem was. I experienced the full onset (and onslaught) of pain all at once. I moaned and cried in pain for a few hours, desperately hoping and praying that the gall stone would pass. I was hospitalized and had the surgery to have it removed because it was so damaged that it could no longer function adequately enough to serve its purpose. The day of the surgery, my surgeon said there were several gall stones and that it was time to get that “ugly gallbladder” removed. That specific pain has been alleviated now that it’s out of me.
Since then, things have become increasingly complicated when it comes to my diet, how much food I consume, and how digestion is processed without my gallbladder. Sometimes, when I don’t pay the kind of attention I need to regarding my diet, I experience the complication and pain—the logical, reasonable consequence—of being too invested in what tastes good to me and how much I consume of what tastes so good. My wife has been warning me that the pancreas is next in line to be damaged if I do not respect and trust the process within my situation. She has made me aware that damage to my pancreas will be much more painful, and will not simply be removed to ease my pain. I will have to endure it, no matter how much pain I am in.
The problem of self-centered interest is that, while I understand it and have some respect for it, I am cheating the process of what I ingest that tastes good, in “moderation”. However, the more I get away with, the more I cheat. It is my undoing, whether gradual or all at once. Even though I know that, I cannot seem to help myself. I typically do not even think about what is right and wrong with my diet. I don’t want to do anything wrong to hurt my body with anything that will prove to be destructive. But I am so compelled by what tastes good that I do it anyway. So, I respond to the discomfort of my discontent to remedy my discomfort, understanding all along that will cost me at some point. I cannot see the damage being done to my pancreas. I don’t have any idea the extent to which it may me damaged. Should I feel the pain of bile in my upper colon due to my food consumption, I will do what is necessary to address it. I will have a renewed respect for my condition; that is, until the value of what I enjoy outweighs the pain I experienced previously since I do not recall it as clearly when I am not experiencing pain.
The reason we are selfish is because of something we refer to as sin. We sin because we are selfish. Selfish ambition and sin go together in a symbiotic manner in the way they process together in the brain of an individual and/or group. Our selfish ambition initiates a feeling that fuels a belief that drives behavior. So long as the outcome of the behavior is reinforced by pleasure, the feeling that fuels the belief drives repeated behavior so long as it produces the perception that the pleasurable outcome continues to be rewarding. This process continues to be repeated until the behavior proves itself to be destructive and painful until it possibly kills us.
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)
It is especially challenging when attempting to terminate the behavior produces another kind of discomfort that is also particularly painful. It can be psychological torture choosing between excruciating anxiety and physical and emotional pain while trying to stop what felt so good. We may know better but cannot seem to stop giving in to consuming into our lives what we still believe tastes so good.
14 So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. 15 I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. 16 But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. 17 So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
18 And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. 19 I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 20 But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
21 I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. 22 I love God’s law with all my heart. 23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. 24 Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? 25 Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. Romans 7:14-25 (NLT)
I am writing this to simply to appeal to your intellect; your soundness of reason and core sensibility.
You might have a problem with what I say next, but it does not make it any less true:
When you say, “I love you?”
What you really mean is that, “I love me, and I love you for what you do for me.”
Until our love is made perfect, it is why we love God… because of what He did for us from a place of perfect love. The bible makes that perfectly clear. There is no disputing it.
Perfect, Fearless Love
God has shown His love to us by sending His only Son into the world. God did this so we might have life through Christ. This is love! It is not that we loved God but that He loved us. For God sent His Son to pay for our sins with His own blood… There is no fear in love. Perfect love puts fear out of our hearts. People have fear when they are afraid of being punished. The man who is afraid does not have perfect love. We love Him because He loved us first. 1 John 4:9-10, 18-19 (NLT)
You might disagree with the assertion that love as we know it is self-centered at its core, even when it comes to your children, especially when they are young. You may claim that any disappointment, annoyance, anger… even resentment towards rebellious children during the course of their lives is only because whatever they did was not good for them, or healthy.
According to the New Testament, you are kidding yourself. It is a deception to believe that you love anyone more than you love yourself. It is why we cannot love God with all our heart (emotion), soul (spirit), and mind (intellect) until our ability to love is made perfect and we are no longer selfish. Which is why it really is not possible to love others as ourselves until our love is perfected. There will always be anxiety, stress, and risk to any and every relationship we have with those we love, and are supposed to love.
What does perfect love look like?
4 Love does not give up. Love is kind. Love is not jealous. Love does not put itself up as being important. Love has no pride. 5 Love does not do the wrong thing. Love never thinks of itself. Love does not get angry. Love does not remember the suffering that comes from being hurt by someone. 6 Love is not happy with sin. Love is happy with the truth. 7 Love takes everything that comes without giving up. Love believes all things. Love hopes for all things. Love keeps on in all things.
8 Love never comes to an end. The gift of speaking God’s Word will come to an end. The gift of speaking in special sounds will be stopped. The gift of understanding will come to an end. 9 For we only know a part now, and we speak only a part. 10 When everything is perfect, then we will not need these gifts that are not perfect.
11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child. I thought like a child. I understood like a child. Now I am a man. I do not act like a child anymore. 12 Now that which we see is as if we were looking in a broken mirror. But then we will see everything. Now I know only a part. But then I will know everything in a perfect way. That is how God knows me right now. 13 And now we have these three: faith and hope and love, but the greatest of these is love. I Corinthians 13:4-13 (NLT)
When will everything be perfect?
Jesus said to him, “For sure, I tell you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43 (NLT)
We often think of heaven as pearly gates and streets paved with gold. Jesus spoke in the Gospel of John that God is preparing for us. Check out the emphasis in the way Jesus describes this place. Jesus is giving us an illuminating glimpse into what heaven is, when the perfect comes, and that we will be with Jesus when we are able to love perfectly: God, and each other, in the way that is all-inclusive, all the time.
“Do not let your heart be troubled. You have put your trust in God, put your trust in Me also. There are many rooms in My Father’s house. If it were not so, I would have told you. I am going away to make a place for you. After I go and make a place for you, I will come back and take you with Me. Then you may be where I am. You know where I am going and you know how to get there.” Jesus told them, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.” John: 14:1-4, 6 (NLT)
When your loved ones have passed from this life into the very presence of Jesus, into the fellowship that is family, they have entered into perfect love without fear. Fearless love is possible when the perfect has come.
My only wish, beyond the eradication of selfish ambition, is to be in the company of Jesus and the fellowship of the saints, in the company and fellowship of perfect love. It is family like we have never known.
Those who have gone before you and me will experience perfect love from the very first brothers and sisters they encounter. It will be love any of us on this side of heaven (glory) have never even had a whiff of. Compared to perfect love, we have no idea what love really is. Jesus suggested to his disciples that compared to that love, the imperfect love we experience now is hardly love at all.
As much as you have ever experienced love, however you may attempt to understand it and describe it, imagine experiencing love infinitely beyond that measure. If you have not experienced love, especially from those you would have, or should have, expected to love you, please know and trust that the day is approaching that you will experience immeasurable love in relationship with God by the way, the truth, and the life, of His Son, Jesus, that will deliver unto you immeasurable joy.
What a day it will be!
