“Set free? When was I ever addicted? What does it mean, ‘addicted to me’?”
by Steven Gledhill for FREEdom from MEdom Project
Do you feel like your world is caving in on you? Do you ever wonder, “Is this all there is?” Is happiness even possible? Would you like relief from the weight of the burden… unchained from guilt and shame… unleashed from betrayal and rejection? Do you want to more reasonably manage conflict? Do you want to finally break free from the rituals of addiction? Do you want better than “just good enough”? Do you want to be made whole… to live free to experience love, peace and joy?
Well, we’ve got to start somewhere, so why not from the beginning…
Free is defined as without cost; to not be held, enslaved, or imprisoned; to not be confined, constrained, or controlled. We were not created for freedom (freedom from what?) since it was never the will of God in the first place that we be controlled or held captive as prisoners and slaves. We were created to live in communion with God. We were meant to need nothing more than happiness in relationship with Him. That’s still the plan! Except that we’re bound by sin, burdened by the weight of its consequences, with the need to be set free.
Peace is defined as a state of tranquility or quiet; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; harmony in personal relations. We were not created for peace (peace from what?), since God’s original idea never included discord, disturbance, oppression, or disharmony. We were created to live in communion with one another. We were meant to live as one harmonious family, unfettered in love. That’s still the idea! Except that we’re so stressed from confusion and complication that we have need for truce from all disturbance, and deliverance from intrusion into peace.
For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. James 3:16 (NKJV)
“The fool tries to adjust the truth so he does not have to adjust to it.” —Henry Cloud
MEdom is my addiction to me. FREEdom from MEdom is all about experiencing the transformed life in relationship with God, armed with the weapons to wage the war within. Within is ongoing conflict between what my intellect agrees is truth and makes the most sense (wanting God’s best), and all of the things that I emotionally get drawn into that so easily impair my judgment, robbing me of what I truly want in this life. Instead of adjusting my life to the truth (God’s way), I try to somehow adjust the truth to accommodate my life (my way). How does that make the most sense?
“I have gone through the FREEdom from MEdom Project then concluded that it is divine; my heart is deeply touched. I have been touched by your vision for delivering addicted people. May this vision that is still in the womb be quickened to maturity. May God expand your vision mightily all over the world. I’m moved to pray for this ministry because it is a unique one… I know that this wave shall cause a great revival in our land.” —Leonard Walubengo, Pastor, Nairobi, Kenya
Popular psychology suggests that how I interpret an event (something that happens) activates a belief that triggers an emotional reaction (to the event) that leads to an outcome. In other words, if desire (my will) is the filter of my understanding, conceived is belief giving birth to motives that fuel behavior colliding with consequences that are too often destructive. When control is impaired, consequences are tolerated, there is pain and preoccupation in the absence of what’s desired, and the continual pursuant behavior has proven to be harmful, (like it or not) that is addiction.
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. James 1:14-15 (NKJV)
So, why do I do what I really don’t want to do?
“I don’t really understand myself. I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate… I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong… There is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life?” Romans 7:15, 21, 23-24 (NLT)
“The way I look at the problem is a problem.” —Pierce
Desire is a feeling with two central elements. There is what I hope for; and then there is what I wish ought to be. Hope is the longing for what is ultimately satisfying. It is delighted in, admired, and cherished. Like digging for treasure or mining for gold, the prize I hope for I hold in high esteem and pursue with a deep sense of conviction and passion with unwavering resolve. It is worth overcoming all obstacles while persevering through pain and struggle. What ought to be, on the other hand, is what I crave, lust for, and covet. What ought to be right now makes me hungry, thirsty and eager, even desperate. My appetite for what ought to be is far less particular. Losing hope, I tend to settle for what ought to be since it is better than it was. It’s good enough… at least for now.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray; each of us has turned to our own way. Isaiah 53:6 (NIV)
God knew that we would lose hope and come to trust in ourselves, settle for less than His best and choose our own path to chase what we want and believe we deserve, stepping on landmines all along the way, chasing contentment that’s never within reach. So the plan was activated to rescue us. His only son was born unto us to get to know us by being like us while living with us. When we chose to act outside of His plan it costs us everything. But God planned ahead and, yes, it cost Him everything; to restore us into newness of life, free and at peace.
A son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called, “Wonderful Counselor”, “Mighty God”, “Everlasting Father”, “Prince of Peace”. His government and its peace will never end. Isaiah 9:6-7 (NLT)
Jesus would by his experience come to understand us; to love us as one human being to another. He would be our friend and then love like no other when he died for us. But the cauldron of death couldn’t hold him but for a few days and he came back to us. In Him is life; a better healthier life. He extends His love without reservation through new life to each one of us. Let go and embrace it.
Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” They said, “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?” Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave (addicted) to sin.” John 8:31-34 (NLT)
“Addiction will lie to me in my own voice.” —Grant
Wow! Jesus is saying that I am addicted to sin… and you are too, for that matter. He also said in the Bible that He came to earth for the sick and impoverished; referring to Himself as a physician. I understand that selfish sin is initiated by choice of the mind acted out through behavior. But Jesus is clear that sin is a disease. If addiction to sin is a disease, then addiction to anything symptomatic of sin is a disease. It’s made us sick. So Jesus asks, “Would you like to get well?”
“I
was so obsessed with me and the reasons that I might be dissatisfied that I couldn’t focus on other people… When I find myself taking the wrong step… it’s because I’m trying to protect myself… What I trace this to is a certain selfishness on my part.” —Barack Obama (August 16, 2008)
When did I begin believing the lies from toxic influences about who and what I am? Why do I seek what does me harm? What is the “exact nature” of this preoccupation with dissatisfaction that requires a remedy?
“Although I love to take control, it is so overwhelming and I know that it is not mine. That is why the load is so heavy when I try to carry it. I do that because I stop trusting that God will take care of it.” —Madison
FREEdom from MEdom Project is not just another pretentious ‘Christianity versus pop psychology’ narrative on how to cure the pervasive lifestyle of addiction rife with dysfunction. What it intends to be is an in-depth study and discussion of the process; the process of resurrection into newness of life; redemption through divine healing, until it makes complete sense.
FREEdom from MEdom Project goes deep into the process of how I think and behave and react to failed expectations. It confronts the problem of entitlement, according to what I believe I deserve. Jesus traced my preoccupation with me to a certain selfishness on my part, declaring that I am a slave to sin (John 8:34)—addicted to selfishness. Apostle Paul wrote that there is a power within me at war with my mind. You see, it really is all about me.
FREEdom from MEdom Project is a trustworthy resource striving to bridge the divide between evidenced-based therapeutic approaches and biblical truth about addiction to self and recovery. You will become well-informed on the true nature of addiction to self from both a clinical and biblical perspective. 
You will learn to discern the differences between guilt and shame; to untangle twisted thoughts and beliefs distorted early on in life; burdens carried from childhood through adolescence into adulthood, having a profound impact through the years on critical lifestyle choices.
“I especially liked the way you tackled the difficult matter of ambivalence and how our addictive behavior runs counter to the intellectual truth of the matter (common sense). There is a sorrow that the soul must go through in letting go of what it thought it loved. We have to come to the place where we truly get it that what God wants for us is GOOD. To some degree, our resistance to His will reveals that we do not really believe it is good—at least not the kind of “good” we want.” —Fran Leeman, Sr. Pastor, LifeSpring Community Church, Chicago (Plainfield), IL
Are you burdened with guilt… isolated by shame? Do you feel labeled by failure and unmet expectations? Can you become paralyzed by discouragement, fear and doubt, afraid of what’s next? If you wrote down how you feel, might it go something like…
“My guilt overwhelms me—it is a burden too heavy to bear… I am bent over and racked with pain. All day long I walk around filled with grief… I am exhausted and completely crushed. My groans come from an anguished heart… I am on the verge of collapse, facing constant pain… My loved ones and friends stay away, fearing my disease. Even my own family stands at a distance.” —King David, Psalm 38 (NLT)
King David, a man after God’s own heart, identified his sin problem as a disease. Is addiction then a matter of choice involving personal responsibility, or is addiction a disease?
The Bible is quite clear that addiction is BOTH a matter of choice AND it’s a disease.
This (Advocate) of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Hebrews 4:15-16 (NLT)
Having been set free from the sins of your yesterday, today and tomorrow, even though you’re not perfect and will still make mistakes, might your prayer sound something like…
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin… Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” —King David, Psalm 51 (NIV)
When David was lost in his addiction he expressed feeling overwhelmed by guilt, crushed by an anguished heart, racked with constant pain. He searched feverishly for remedies to massage a strained ego, assuage a deeply troubled conscience, and bandage a severely wounded soul; to comprehend stability in the madness of his disease. FREEdom from MEdom Project is all about helping you to believe fully in the One whose love for you is unyielding and relentless, calling you into repentance, bathed in mercy, renewing your mind with a willing spirit, and restoring you into the rest, peace, and joy of best right living. Soak yourself in the compassion, love and generosity of your Sympathetic Savior.
Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?” John 5:6 (NLT)
Asking if you want a path to a better healthier life might feel a bit insulting since, well, of course you do! Jesus asked a man who’d been paralyzed by misery for almost forty years, “Do you want to get well?” which when more accurately translated from the original Greek text means, “Are you willing to be made whole?” He may as well have asked, “Do you even want to experience a better healthier life than this?” C.S. Lewis suggested that, while I may seek a remedy for the “tooth” that hurts the most, God is attentive and intends to work on all of my “teeth”, all that’s awry, until the change in me is complete. The thing about real change into a new life experience is that you have to want it enough.
Keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. 1 Peter 2:11 (NLT)
“Steven… It is right on. You did a lot of work and your study was directed by God’s eternal truth from the Bible.” —Randal Ross, Sr. Pastor, Calvary Church, Chicago (Naperville), IL
You know the generous grace of our Lord Jesus Christ. Though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that by his poverty he could make you rich.
2 Corinthians 8:9 (NLT)
If poverty is my perception or realization of missing what I need, want, and deserve—a state of discontent; and if its true that poverty breeds contempt for that believed to be missing—that being control—then the escalating discomfort must be remedied. Even Adam and Eve, who seemed to have it all, sought a remedy for their growing need for more by way of indulging in forbidden fruit because of wayward choices, producing in them feelings of loss and a foreboding sense of inadequacy. Like me they covered themselves, hoping to disguise their guilt and discreetly veil their shame.
“Refusing to acknowledge the source of our anguish doesn’t make it go away. Denial protects the pain and makes it stronger.”
—Just For Today, Narcotics Anonymous
In actuality, as discomfort swells into misery, it arouses in me patterns of thinking, cycles of behavior, and systems for living presumed vital to manage this problem. There is surrender to a core belief deeply entrenched in entitlement that goes rogue and takes control. The erosion of sound values corrupts and diverts my moral sensibilities. To minimize unsettling discomfort, I will lie to protect myself, rationalize to defend myself, and isolate to shield myself from anything prohibitive of my approach to self-government. I am in need of a remedy.
“I know I’ve hit bottom when I choose to quit digging.” —Taylor
As thought patterns and habitual behavior become so a part of my fabric for “living” that even when my life situations improve, the behavior continues with increased purpose and justification, generating a new set of conflicts and challenges. The obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior (acting out) evolve into intensified rituals and routines that must be performed just to feel a sense of normal and balance. Any deviation from the process cannot—will not—be tolerated. As the behavior carries with it substantial risk and cost, and trying to reduce or extinguish the behavior becomes increasingly disruptive and painful, and to stop it feels detrimental and perhaps even harmful to me, it is addiction; a counterfeit higher power believed to be the remedy for solving the prevailing problem of dissatisfaction running (and ruining) my life.
“The giving of oneself to a pursuit.” —‘Addicted‘ as defined by The Oxford English dictionary, 1884
“To devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively.” —Merriam-Webster dictionary, today
I will define addiction as the ongoing need for a remedy to improve my situation, which feels beneficial but is fleeting at best; and despite the adverse effects the remedy imposes upon the quality of my life, deepening my discontentment, I repeatedly settle for the instant gratification as worth the risk of the imminent harm to me and all others influenced by what I do.
To willfully aim to reverse the addictive behavior is recovery. The trouble is, recovery from addiction is an uphill endeavor that can feel impossible, and is especially challenging, particularly when my will is so vulnerable and so often compromised; and when giving in again and again to cravings and temptation, undermines my most sensible values and core beliefs; tantamount to moral treason.
Jesus said, “The thief (the influence of evil in self-addiction) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 (NIV)
“To get back (regain)… To bring back to normal position or condition (rescue)… To save from loss and restore to usefulness (reclaim)… The process of combating a disorder or a real or perceived problem.” —‘Recover’ and ‘Recovery’ defined by Merriam-Webster dictionary
And the one sitting on the throne said, “Look, I am making everything new!” And then he said to me, “Write this down, for what I tell you is trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5 (NLT)
Self-government not quite working out? Well, this recipe for recovery into God’s best is not exactly a secret. It’s been around, available and accessible for a very long time. The Bible calls it salvation. Recovery is a synonym for salvation. Recovery is salvation; salvation is recovery. Sin addiction is a spiritual problem requiring a spiritual remedy—a spiritual solution that is in the message of salvation. FREEdom from MEdom Project is an echo of this salvation message, spreading the gospel of freedom through recovery into the very best of the new life experience God wants and has for you.
The government will rest on his shoulders… His government and its peace will never end. Isaiah 9:6-7 (NLT)
Everything in Christ-centered recovery God’s way hinges on three pivotal steps. They are referred to here as ABC Recovery: ADMIT my life is out of control and that I cannot on my own manage it… I can’t; BELIEVE that God is in control, able and willing to help me change… God can; and COMMIT to God since He is in control, able and willing to help me change… God will. If I believe that God is in control, then it makes the most sense to let go and turn over to God what I don’t have control over anyway. To go about my life any other way is to suggest that perhaps I know better and have some secret recipe to defy the laws of my addiction to me—MEdom. I need to let go of what I cannot control and let God do what God does when I let Him.
“Revived to life in the present releases the burden of the past, relieving the fear of the future.” —Tyler
For God says, “At just the right time, I heard you. On the day of salvation, I helped you.” Indeed, the “right time” is now. Today is the day of salvation. 2 Corinthians 6:2 (NLT)
“I read it; loved it… We often are not really facing how we have accepted a “status quo” Christian existence, plodding through our days not really alive to God… I liked your use of recovery as a synonym for salvation––that could be really helpful for people to take the religion out of the notions of salvation, and infuse the term with a restorative mentality.”
—Fran Leeman, Pastor, LifeSpring Community Church, Chicago (Plainfield), IL*
Wisdom is adjusting my life to the truth. Foolishness is adjusting the truth to my life. The truth is that living and dying is a process, and truth is truth, whether I believe it or not. Addiction to me… recovery from me… either way, I surrender to the process. I need help to better comprehend the process of addiction and to sufficiently trust in the process of recovery into freedom; willing and able to truly live in the fullness of all that God wants and has for me; revived and renewed into the very best of a new life experience.
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds. Ephesians 4:22-23 (NLT)
Do your values shape your sense of morality or do sound moral sensibilities determine what you value?
Ask God to show Himself to you if you still are not certain about Him. It is your expression of hope. When Christ shows up in your circumstances and delivers, you will be changed. And that then changes everything. Your values about what you own change as you are willing to let go of whatever it is you value that owns you in exchange for that which God owns and values for you; and wants for you to own.
When you come to realize something so profound to be true and right in your deepest sensibilities, agreeing with it intellectually and morally, it changes you. Sensible reason is set free, no longer held hostage by impulsive emotion. It’s that truth that sets you free. Know that being right is far better than feeling right.
To encounter the presence of God is certainly powerful. To live in the experience of God’s presence is transforming; empowering you to become more like Jesus. Then, while you cannot on your own make the world a better place, you can have your own place in the world and make it better.
I hope and pray that you will find the resources and opportunities offered here compelling as you discover and examine powerful truth that makes perfect sense. Please take your time getting to know your way around this website. Begin to let go of what is getting in the way of the blessing. Experience by faith the transforming work of God in your life to move from that place of dissatisfaction into the reality of a satisfied mind.
“So good!” —Rich Wilkerson, Senior Pastor, Trinity Church, Miami, FL*
In relationship with Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. Ephesians 3:12 (NIV, slightly modified)
God’s love for you is never in question. What’s in question here is God’s life for you. Do you want it?
OR ARE YOUR HANDS FULL?
“If my life speaks loudly of transformation, the truth about God draws the doubter into that very truth.”
—Rick Selling, FREEdom from MEdom Project Contributor
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The following pages, ADMIT, BELIEVE, and COMMIT, will open your eyes to identify the problem of dissatisfaction, resistance against effectively managing the problem, and in-depth insight into what is necessary to solve the problem.
To begin to understand the process and progression of FREEDOM FROM ME’DOM principles…
>>> click here on GETTING STARTED.
The following summarize the ABC steps into recovery God’s way:
ADMIT Identify and Understand the Problem
Entitlement: deserving to be right and in control
“When we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves.”
—Viktor E. Frankl, Renowned Austrian Psychiatrist
“I can to some extent control my acts. I have no direct control over my temperament. If what we are matters even more than what we do—if indeed what we do matters chiefly as evidence of what we are—then it follows that the change which I most need to undergo is a change that my own direct, voluntary efforts cannot bring about.” —C.S. Lewis
Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. James 1:14-15 (NLT)
My addiction to sin is my addiction to me—MEdom. MEdom ranges from hoping and trying—even fighting—to survive, to being willing to risk all to gain all since I am, after all, entitled. I deserve it! Compelled by a core belief of entitlement, I cannot help but be self-absorbed into something that I cannot manage on my own.
For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. James 3:16
>>> Click here to open ADMIT page.
BELIEVE Assess and Challenge Ambivalence
FREEdom: Freedom in God versus MEdom: Freedom from God
Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?” John 5:6
Ambivalence can offer resistance to continuing a pattern of behavior when I want to avoid painful consequence, or resistance to recovery when when the pain subsides and I remember the pleasure while forgetting the pain. Healthy ambivalence accurately assesses gain and loss, measuring benefit (reward and pleasure) against consequence (risk and pain), promoting enough discrepancy as motivation for something authentically better.
If your life is a house and your preoccupation with dissatisfaction—addiction to self—is the fire that out of control is burning down the house, at what point do you considering challenging your resistance to the change required to solve your problem? What will you do when it finally dawns on you that everything is on fire? What will you do when the fireman comes in to rescue you from the fire? Will you let go of it all and go with him to get well?
Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, “Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.” John 5:14 (NLT)
>>> Click here to open BELIEVE page.
COMMIT Take Action to Solve the Problem
Catch the Vision for a New Life Experience!
FREEdom from MEdom Project is an interactive online support resource to guide you along a pathway to receiving God’s best for your life—experiencing freedom from my preoccupation with dissatisfaction through transformative Christ-centered recovery. You will identify in reading the articles that there is a clear cognitive-behavioral approach to discovering Biblical truth concerning transformative recovery. Through interactive participation in FREEdom from MEdom Activities, you get to participate by way of recovery lessons and application challenges to assist your recovery.
Jesus modeled recovery: ADMIT – “I can do nothing on my own. BELIEF – I judge (have authority) as God tells me. Therefore, my judgment is just, because COMMIT – I carry out the will of the one who sent me, not my own will.” John 5:30 (NLT)
Do you want God’s best, or are you settling for yours? It is time to act to begin solving your problem. Accept the hand of the fireman and follow His lead.
>>> Click here to open COMMIT page.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness (into God’s best His way), and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)
“The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live?” —from Narcotics Anonymous, Just for Today
Once we, too, were foolish and disobedient. We were misled and became slaves to many lusts and pleasures. Our lives were full of evil and envy, and we hated each other. But when God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. Because of his grace he declared us righteous and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life. Titus 3:3-7 (NLT)
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free, and that the time of the Lord’s favor has come.” All eyes in the synagogue looked at him intently. Then he began to speak to them. “The Scripture you’ve just heard has been fulfilled this very day!” Luke 4:18-21 (NLT)
What and who has power over you? What owns you? What are you a slave to? What does that mean for you and how you live? How do you cope? Where is your hope? Look up! Look up and see that God is good and will not disappoint you.
“That great pit into which all sin and hopelessness ultimately flows, cannot stand before the life and love of God.” —Fran Leeman
“Lord Jesus, I say that I believe in You. I say that I believe in what You can do. but then I battle emotionally with faith, clouded with doubt about what You will do. Why do I struggle with what I believe? Why won’t I trust in what I know? Help me to be more confident in what I know. Help me to see what you see and to know some of what you know. Help me to let go and trust in what I say I believe in. Embolden me to trust You. Help me to believe that you love me.”
I cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” Mark 9:24 (NLT)
