This Week In Recovery Lesson
I love me and I love you for what you do for me. We love from a sense of entitlement of reciprocation and gratification. Love is naturally corrupted by selfishness. So we need the love of God coursing through our being in order to really love someone. Then we can be genuinely compassionate. Then our extension of mercy and grace to another is authentic. Then love is sincere.
In the article, And Justice for All… When Love Isn’t Fair, I brought three examples from Scripture when mercy was graciously extended to someone who deserved far worse. Those who repented (in two of the examples) were awarded mercy while there were others who were offended and bitterly angry that mercy was the order of the day instead of punishment. The two stories about the issue of justice in relationships were from Jonah chapters three and four, and Luke 15:11-31.
Jonah
In the first example, Jonah was sent to a hedonistic people in the city of Nineveh, containing therein a race of wicked people Jonah couldn’t stand. Obedient to God’s calling… finally, after three days and nights in the belly of a large fish, Jonah prophesied all through the city that they would be destroyed due to their offensive behavior hostile toward God. But then something unexpected happened. The people of Nineveh actually believed the prophet and repented of their sin. And then, God believed the Ninevites were sincere in their repentance and He forgave them.
Jonah became extremely angry over what he perceived to be injustice. And when you think about it, none of the ordeal between God and the city of Nineveh had anything to do with Jonah. Why did Jonah care whether God destroyed this city or not? Because it wasn’t right, that’s why. These were wicked people and at that time the city was the capital of the Assyrian empire, a people despised by a Jewish man. What God wanted for the people of Nineveh, Jonah did not like at all. Jonah goes through much anguish and distress to inform the people to repent or be destroyed. So they repent, change their behavior, and God is satisfied. On the other hand, Jonah is livid. He is “even angry enough to die.”
The city repented of its wicked behavior and Jonah was free to go. But he felt that the people were so bad that God would be unwilling to accept their repentance and would destroy them. Jonah went up the hill to get a front row seat to witness the carnage and destruction; that somehow Jonah would find pleasure watching the people suffer. Instead, God expressed to His people in Nineveh compassion and sent Jesus to pay whatever debt the repentant people of Nineveh owed God for the evil they had perpetrated against Him along their way. To Jonah that hardly seemed fair. It wasn’t right! Rather than appreciate the gracious heart of God that extended mercy to those He loves, Jonah apparently resented God for letting them get away with murder.
The Brother
In the second example, the case of the brother of the prodigal son, one brother bitterly resents the other brother who offended and betrayed the dignity of his father and family when he appeared to swindle his father into giving him half of his inheritance premature of the father’s death. When the prodigal son exhausts the resources he inherited from his father on reckless wasteful living, comes to his senses when he realizes he is starving to death, and returns home to his father’s care desperate for a meal, the father is merciful, gracious, and (even worse in the eyes of the jealous brother) generous. The father restored the repentant prodigal into full sonship, essentially telling him that “everything I have is yours” (again). Then dad threw a huge party celebrating the return of his son.
The jealous brother, confronting his father, says something like, “You gave him everything he didn’t deserve in the first place and my brother blew through all of it like candy. Whatever he was suffering was his own doing and undoing. Then he comes home and you celebrate his failures? I’ve been with you the whole time! I have served you in the family business faithfully. I have loved you father without reservation. You never threw a party for me. I don’t get it.” Then dad responds, “I love you son. I have always loved you.” Looking out over the vast property, he continues, saying, “And everything I have you have. It’s all yours. You’re right about one thing. You don’t get it. Your brother was lost to us – to me – and now he is found. Your brother who I also love deeply was dead and now he is alive!”
Why couldn’t the brother of the prodigal son rejoice with his father and family? Was it jealousy? Perhaps it was; or least it was a piece in the bigger picture. There was definitely a problem of entitlement. With everything the brother of the prodigal son possessed, what was missing? Was it that a party had not been thrown for him? What was it?
Joseph
In the third example from Genesis beginning in chapter 37, Joseph said some things to his brothers about the great things God was showing him in dreams and visions about the future He had prepared for him. The brothers were jealous, resentful, and grew tired of hearing the “ramblings” of little brother, seventeen-year-old, Joseph. Contemplating and scheming how they might kill him, they eventually chose to offer him up to wealthy slave owners and sold their brother into slavery.
Joseph, anointed and blessed, would eventually be the property of Pharaoh, accurately interpret Pharaoh’s dreams, and be rewarded by Pharaoh as second in command over an entire nation of people. Pharaoh so trusted Joseph, that he essentially gave him the keys to the kingdom.
When Joseph’s brothers showed up in the city to purchase goods, they unknowingly ran into their brother who had grown up by then. Eventually, living under the territorial reign of their brother, they would come to realize that it was Joseph in charge and they were subject to his mercy. At the very least, to be fair, Joseph should have made his brothers his slaves. Faithful to his heavenly Father, Joseph forgave his brothers and actually blessed them from the bounty of his access to resources. The entire family lived together rejoicing in their reunion as family.
- Assuming you read or are familiar with these stories, what do you understand about them?
- How is it fair that God forgave Nineveh, the father forgave the prodigal son, and Joseph forgave his brothers?
- What was it about Jonah, the prodigal son’s brother, and Joseph’s brothers that they took issue with compassion, mercy, and forgiveness?
- How would you describe the relationship between Jonah and the people of Nineveh that he wanted to watch them all die? Where would you say he was at spiritually?
- How would you describe the relationship between the prodigal son and his brother? Where would you say he was at spiritually?
- How would you describe the relationship between Joseph and his brothers? Where would you say he was at spiritually?
- How would you describe the relationship between you and those who are involved with you, whether they be family and loved ones, friends, co-workers, creditors, authority figures, and people in society at large?
- Where would you say you are at spiritually and how is it reflected in your relationships?
- Write about times when you felt injustices against you occurred in your life with people who are in relationships with you. How did it and does it make you feel?
- How does anger and resentment play out in your life?
- How does envy and jealousy play out in your life?
- How does pride and entitlement (what you deem you deserve) play out in your life?
- How might you carry grudges against people? How have you held grudges against others?
- Identify situations and relationships where you continue to harbor resentments and grudges, especially against those you care about.
- How does mercy and forgiveness play out in your life?
- How does loving compassion play out in your life?
- How does patience in your relationships play out in your in your life?
- How might you be willing to change using empowered recovery tools because God is at work in your life?
- How might you be willing to let go of resentments and be a more forgiving person?
- How might you be a more gracious person?
- How might you be a more generous person?
- What can you ask God to help you in the areas identified in this lesson?
- When will you begin working on this?
If we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 John 1:9
- How is it fair and just that God forgives us and washes us clean each and every time we confess our selfish wrong doing?
- How is it fair to God?
For the application challenge to this lesson, please click TWRAC 048.
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