This Week’s Recovery Application Challenge
Be sure to have completed TWIRL 039 before proceeding with this exercise.
Overcoming Thinking Problems
As you do the work of understanding thinking problems, seeing the truth through lies that you tend to believe due to irrational beliefs about activating events throughout your life, you have the opportunity to overcome both real and perceived failures. Failures are unmet expectations whether the expectations are realistic or unrealistic, healthy or unhealthy. Either way, failed expectations tend to affect your reality, which can lead to fear of failure.
Healthy or not, fear trends toward immobility. Ever been so scared you could not move? Fear of failure works the same way. While the need to protect yourself seems to serve a logical purpose, when self-preservation is predicated on an irrational belief then the need to protect yourself serves a purpose that is not logical, perhaps not even sensible. Fear of failure can have a paralyzing effect and your life becomes non-productive.
Overcoming F.E.A.R. (Failed Expectations Affecting Reality)
The more we are pummeled by unmet expectations, the more we develop a deepening sense of failure that results in the experience of fear. Once frozen by fear, we tend to withdraw, feel unworthy, isolate (pull way), alienate (push away), self-preserve and protect, erect barriers and walls, and defer from risk.
Consequences of F.E.A.R. include: unhealthy relationships, dysfunctional families, addictive behaviors, loneliness, tendencies toward passive-aggressive behavior, affection and intimacy issues, engaging in abusive relationships (victim or villain), self-loathing and self-abusive behavior.
- Growing up, what would you say were expectations placed on you that were unrealistic?
- Who placed those expectations upon you?
- How effective were you in meeting unrealistic expectations?
- How did unmet expectations impact your life at the time?
- How do those unmet expectations affect you today?
- What are the expectations that you are living up to today?
- Are they realistic? Why, or why not?
- How does not meeting present day expectations impact your life?
- How does your continuing battle with unrealistic expectations affect you?
- What expectations past and present have you put on yourself?
- Of your self-expectations, which are realistic?
- Of your self-expectations, which are unrealistic?
- How have unrealistic self-expectations impacted your life?
- What do you think needs to happen to reverse the trend and impact of unrealistic expectations you have for yourself?
- What would you say are realistic expectations for your life when you quit believing the lies that have led to past failures? List at least five based on sound recovery principles.
- List at least three action steps that will enable/empower you to meet those realistic expectations with God’s help along the way.
- How do you feel having worked through this application challenge?
Please take some time to pray and to ask God for courage, strength, and comfort to pursue His will and purpose for your life according to His gracious expectations.
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